


won't be long now 'fore you die, poor boy

by ashintuku



Series: I've been all around this world [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ace Spectrum, Force Visions, Identity Issues, Mentions of Violence, Multi, Non-binary character, Polyamory, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Spoilers, Star Wars: The Force Awakens Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 11:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5784445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashintuku/pseuds/ashintuku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We'll be back before you know it." </p><p>"I'm just not used to being the one left behind anymore." </p><p>"It's hard," Finn said, and Poe pulled him a little closer, nose resting against his temple. Finn leaned into him, but kept looking at Rey. "It's hard, but you'll be okay. And we'll be back. I promise, Rey, we'll come back for you." </p><p>She swallowed and nodded, allowing herself to be pulled into both of their arms; Finn's mouth pressed to her forehead and Poe bowed down to seemingly encircle her. </p><p>"I know - you always have."</p>
            </blockquote>





	won't be long now 'fore you die, poor boy

When Rey had first found Skywalker on Ahch-To, the crumbling ruins of the Temple reminding her of the crumbling stature of the Last Jedi, he had looked at her as though she were a messenger of death. 

He had refused to speak to her that first day, and left her standing at the top of the cliff - holding out an ancient lighsabre and willing him to give her answers. The wind had been harsh and cold, full of salt and sea and nothing like the scorching blazes of her desert, and the sun had hidden behind grey clouds that promised something she had never once in her life seen before. (Rain, Skywalker called it later, it was rain; and she stood out in it for hours as it fell around her, laughing and screaming and crying because it was so much _water_ and she had never felt so clean.)

But the biting cold nipped at her sunburnt skin for a second too long, and Rey had turned and fled, running after him; determined to prise at least answers out of his worn, mismatched hands. 

Now, Rey stood out in the middle of the hangar bay, the world around her quiet except for her breathing, Skywalker's deep inhales her reference, and the fizz-pop- _hum_ of 'sabres. 

It was dark in the hangar, no one around keeping up maintenance on the fighters or rushing past to guide pilots in from the tarmac or out onto it. Skywalker had tossed aside his robes in favour of movement, his shoulders rolled back and his arm held in front of him; blue 'sabre bright against the metal of his fingers. Rey stood back from him, watching him, feet spread wide and hands held out in front of her. Her dual-bladed staff glowed green-yellow and bright in the dark, and she spun it in a lazy circle once, feeling the weight of heat and steady plasma beat against her skin like Jakku's sun. 

"You show your impatience, Rey," Skywalker said, and suddenly he was moving forward in a lunge, and she reacted and blocked him, the clash of blades hissing in the air. He pushed her back and she stumbled, raising her blade again and blocking him; moving backward as he pushed forward. "You look where you're going to attack. Where you think I'm vulnerable. It's a tell." 

He caught her swing, lifted his hand, and froze her in her counter-swing. She stared at him, breathing deeply, before breaking free of his hold and stumbling back. He nodded and dropped his hand. 

"You're improving." 

"I'm still not as good as him." Rey scowled down at the ground. The shuffle of Skywalker stepping closer made her look up, and he touched her arm with his flesh hand, pressing his thumb gently against her skin in a reassuring squeeze, before letting go. "I need to be as good as him. Better than him." 

"You will be." 

"I need to be better _now_." 

Skywalker smiled, and it was a Luke smile - those smiles coming out more and more these days. It was funny, she thought; it was funny that Luke was clawing his way out of Skywalker when she was stuck. She was stuck in the snow and the thrumming, broken hum of a red 'sabre, and he was leaving her behind trailing blue. 

He touched her cheek, then, and Rey looked up into too-wide blue eyes; Skywalker-Luke's gaze soft and fond and almost _paternal_ and something wrenched in her chest and felt loose like hanging wires. 

"You will be." 

~+~

He stood in front of the holo-screen spitting out numbers and calculations as fast as BB-8 could translate them, arms folded behind his back as Statura brought up images of star systems and showed him where known First Order bases were located. 

General Leia stood beside him, standing tall and strong despite the weary way her heart dragged across her face, and Poe wondered what it was about some people that just made them push forward. Wondered if General Leia wasn't just surviving her grief to continue to fight the war, but in fact to _spite_ her grief - as if daring death and mourning to rest their hands on her shoulders so she could shrug them off and give them a piece of her mind. 

"These are the bases the squadrons under your command will be hitting, Commander," Statura said, picking out four different bases scattered across two systems. "You'll have to coordinate your attacks carefully." 

"Are these going to be back-to-back hit-and-runs, or are we spacing them out?" 

"We're thinking of hitting one or two bases at a time - one from airstrike, one from the ground," General Leia said, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully. "Maybe three at a time. We want to make it appear that we're far more spread out than we are." 

"Are Stiletto and Dagger joining us?"

"Captains Kun and Arana have been asked to join. They'll get their orders from you once this meeting is over." Poe nodded, eyes shifting over the information in front of him, and Statura continued. After a minute, his voice washed over him in a tide of white noise, and Poe allowed himself a moment to think. 

He thought about Rey, who had been fighting all of her life; fighting for scrapes of food and fighting for a place to sleep and fighting for whatever water she could scrounge up from wherever water hid on desert planets. Thought of Rey fighting for her life when all she had wanted to do was sit and wait for a family that was never coming back for her; fighting for her friends when she had never had to fight for another person in the entirety of her existence. Fighting for a Resistance she had only heard rumours about, and knew nothing about, but trusted enough to fight for all the same. 

He thought about Finn, who had been taken as a child to fight in a war he could not believe in, because he had never known it existed. Thought about a child being handed a blaster and told to shoot; about a young man being shown targets of Resistance and civilians both and told to _kill_ ; thought about how he had turned his back on it all when blood streaked down the front of his helmet, panic clawing its way up and out of his throat, and how he had survived on instinct and adrenaline alone until he couldn't anymore. Thought about how now, now Finn was _choosing_ to fight; choosing to fight the First Order, choosing to aim his blaster at those he had once maybe called friends.

BB-8 bumped gently against his calf, and he glanced down at it before looking over to see General Leia watching him with complete and total understanding on her face, and he thought about himself, fighting because his parents had fought and it was his legacy; because it was in his blood to fight, and he had always had the _choice_. 

And he thought that maybe, just maybe, his parents had had it right when they left the Rebel Alliance and found quiet lives for themselves. 

"Is that understood, Commander Dameron?" 

Poe turned to Statura, smiling at him easily and glancing over the plans in front of him, before giving a salute. 

"Loud and clear, sir." 

~+~ 

General Leia Organa assigned him a team, and he met with them immediately. 

It was a small team, made up of about ten of them including him. Bigger than the squad he had led in the First Order, but the situations were different. With Zeroes, and Nines, and Slip, FN-2187 had been leading them through simulations and showing his Promise. They had gone through takeover situations and hostage situations and execution situations with the efficiency and calm every 'trooper unit went through; Slip falling behind, failing his orders, and dragging them all with him because FN-2187 had never killed his soft-hearted desire to protect as he led. 

With Blackjack, Pansy, Eloise, Len, Yue, Jarvik, Niels, Hana, and T'keigh, it was real, and he was proving his worth. It was real, and Finn was being the slap to the Order, taking information and blowing their bases sky-high and ignoring the fact that he was probably killing FNs as he did so; ignoring the fact that he was probably killing the only family he had ever had, because they weren't his family anymore, and he couldn't think of them like that. Couldn't allow himself to mourn them, because the mission was too important and his squad would probably think lesser of him if he tried. 

So he met with them immediately, sat them down in a room, and the first thing he did was learn their names, where they were from, and why they were in the Resistance. 

Blackjack came from the Outer Rim planets, some scuzball swamp-water stopover that's only real claim to fame was its outpost, with raucous gambling to be found, and its smuggling rings. He had been a smuggler; he'd joined when his crew had been captured and killed by First Order. He still had no idea how he had escaped, or why they had been captured, but he knew he was angry. 

Pansy was from the Hosnian system, the centre of the New Republic, and she hadn't needed to explain why she had joined to Finn. It was rather obvious why she had joined. She was slight and short with eyes too wide for her face and a laugh like a bark. Finn thought he probably liked her. 

He learned their names slowly, because he thought it was important that he knew their names. They had _names_ and history and ideals and wants and desires, and they were not just soldiers, they _weren't_ , and he wanted to know them all so that he would never leave a single one of them behind to die. 

General Leia Organa assigned him the team, asking him to be the slap to the First Order as he took their bases down one by one. 

He would backhand them by throwing all their teachings about leadership back in their faces.

~+~ 

Skywalker told her to find the tallest tree in the jungle surrounding the base, and once she had, to climb up to the top and take a look at the world around them. So off she went, tromping through the trees and the wet grass and dirt, dodging vines and snakes and other critters as she went. 

She found a tree, grabbed vines hanging from its too-high branches, and started to climb. 

Skywalker had told her about his own training, in the quiet evenings of Ahch-To when they were full of sea-salt stew and fish; when the fire was crackling and warm and she felt another sand-layer of Jakku shed off of her like peeling, sunburnt skin. He told her about Obi-Wan Kenobi giving him his father's 'sabre; telling him truths with facts taken out of them because Old Ben was kind in his tired soul, and hadn't wanted to hurt the young boy. Told her about finding Dagobah, and finding Yoda, the old master Jedi who lived in its desolated swamp waters. 

Rey grunted; hefted herself up higher using slim branches and thick vines, palms burning and shoulders straining. 

Skywalker had told her that Master Yoda had been strange, and eccentric, and had acted like a fool when Luke had first met him, because he had wanted to test his patience. He told her that he failed many of Master Yoda's tests; that he was rash, brash, impatient, and too emotional. That his father's flux of control was inherited into his blood, and whenever Master Yoda looked into young Luke's face, all he saw was Anakin Skywalker staring back. 

She pulled herself onto a sturdy-looking branch, forehead pressed against the smooth bark of the tree, and she breathed for a minute to catch her breath. Then she stood up and jumped to the branch above her; the feeling of something all-encompassing and comforting and _there_ cradling her up higher and higher. 

Skywalker told her about Darth Vader; how he had been more machine than man, but when he learned he had a _son_ something human broke out from the circuitry and he had reached out to Luke the only way he knew _how_. And Luke had refused him, time and again, because the Dark was not the answer; and they pulled against each other, matched tug-for-tug, because they were exactly the same but different. Skywalker told her that just as Vader felt the Dark curled at the bottom of his son's heart, his son had felt the Light screaming to be let out of his father's cage. 

Rey stopped, pulled herself up through large, leafy branches, and stared out at the moon staring back down at her; big and blue with slashes of green, and she wondered for a moment if there was life on that moon. All around her was silence as the night crept over the world, and she looked over and saw the base lit up like stars, with two people and a droid sitting on the roof. Hands gripping onto the branches, Rey grinned. 

Skywalker told her how Luke had somehow saved his father but had to watch him die to do it, and she knew that he was trying to warn her about her future. Knew that she was repeating his history but _not_ , because her story was her own even if the parallels were terrifying. 

But she couldn't find it in herself to worry about it, when she knew that she would always have people to fall back to. 

(Luke had had people, too, her mind reminded her; he had had people, _too_ , but he left them and she hoped she never did the same.) 

~+~ 

Iolo Arana was pretty easy-going for a man who led a starfighter unit called Dagger. 

Poe liked working with Iolo; liked talking shop with him, and comparing flight-sim scores with him, because sometimes pilots had nothing better to do than shoot the shit and fix their T-70s more than was absolutely necessary. 

Iolo also never got concerned with the pilots' gossip, and it was nice to talk to someone without them making a knowing face when they saw Finn or Rey walk by and smile at him. 

"You're worried about him." 

He took it back; Iolo was a gossip-monger just like _everyone else_. 

"Hm?" Poe looked over to Iolo, staring at his dark, wide eyes for a moment before looking back at his datapad; bringing up a holo of their tentative battle plan. "Snap? He'll be fine, Iolo, he's one of our best scouts. Besides, he made his last check-in on time and he'll be back by the end of the day." 

"I meant Finn." 

Poe sighed. "Of course you meant Finn. Everyone always means Finn. Poor Snap - nobody cares about Temmin Wexley. How will I break the news to him?" 

" _Poe_." 

Poe frowned, fingers twitching on his thigh, before he moved around the holo in front of him to try and see if they could incorporate the Wotan Weave successfully, despite their target being a stagnant base and not other fighters. Iolo hummed as they watched the holo-simulation predicting the success of the maneuver, both of them taking note of the numbers. Poe wished Karé was still planet-side and not on a damned recon mission at the moment; he could use her insight, too. 

"Of course I'm worried about him," he finally said, dropping his hands and watching as Iolo introduced another, age-old and true maneuver into the sim, just to check all of their bases. "I'm always worried about him. Rey, too, but we're not throwing Rey back onto Jakku and telling her to wait for us. We're throwing Finn right at the First Order and telling him to blow up old friends for the Greater Good. Even as an outside acquaintance, aren't _you_ a little worried?" 

"I know some members of Dagger are worried he'll turn on his team and shoot them," Iolo said casually, and Poe scowled, clenching his jaw and grinding his teeth. The Keshian bumped his shoulder and he breathed out slowly. "I'm telling them to smarten up, but you know how it is with pilots. We're great by ourselves but turn into idiots in groups." 

"Kinda like men," a new voice said, and Poe looked over to see Jess coming up to them. She threw a sloppy salute and Iolo snorted. "Anyway, I'm taking the surviving recruits through the last of their training. Thought you should know, Commander." 

"Thanks, Testor," Poe said, smiling faintly. "I'll keep an eye on you lot from down here, if that's acceptable." 

"I guess so, Commander," Jess said with a sigh, "I know you have to work out a battle plan and stare longingly at Rey now that she and Skywalker are coming back from their intense nature hike." She grinned and turned on her heel, marching away as Poe looked over to see that Rey and Luke Skywalker _were_ coming in through the hangar, packs on their backs and Rey's hair in a braid that trailed down her back. 

Iolo bumped his shoulder again, and he looked over to see the Keshian giving him a look and a small smile. "I'll look these over with Karé, Poe. You go on ahead." 

"For a gossip-monger, Iolo, you're good people," Poe said, clapping Iolo on the shoulder as he stood up. "I'll come see you at dinner, though. Promise." 

"Yeah, yeah." 

~+~ 

Finn learned that Eloise had a mechanical eye and a mechanical arm and a metal lining to her jaw, because this one time when she was a transport flier for the New Republic, large crates had fallen onto her and had half-crushed her. 

She said she was lucky to be alive; that it was a miracle they had gotten her to a medical centre so quickly. The metal vertebrae running down his spine pulled on his skin as she showed him where her natural bone ended and where the metal bone began. 

Poking at his food with a fork, he looked over to see Poe and Captain Iolo Arana going through a few more flying manoeuvres to try and make sure they were never surprised during the big mission. Rey sat across from him, watching the holos with interest; her hands never stopping in shoving food into her mouth. Captain Karé Kun sat beside her, half-watching the holo-simulations and half-watching Rey eat like it was a mildly interesting holovid. 

Someone sat down beside him, then, and he turned and stared, wide-eyed, at Luke Skywalker settling beside him and picking up a glass of water with a sigh. 

Finn remembered what the Order had to say about Luke Skywalker. He was a menace, dangerous, wielding powers that were too volatile to control; he had destroyed the Empire and killed the Emperor and had taken down Darth Vader, the most powerful Sith in centuries, single-handedly. He was part machine, he had been told; less than human, less than a person, and the biggest threat to the Order's goal of peace and unity known to the galaxy. 

But staring at him, he thought he just looked old. 

"You're Finn," Luke Skywalker said, voice a scratchy rasp, and Finn nodded stupidly. He didn't notice Rey look over at them suddenly; didn't notice Poe turning away from his captains to watch. Luke Skywalker smiled. "I'm glad to finally meet you." 

"...You as well, sir," Finn finally said, swallowing thickly. He took the hand offered to him, marvelled at the metal of it, and shifted; his back pulling as he did so. 

"Rey's told me a lot about you," Luke finally said, dropping his hand but still looking at him; staring into him like he could see into Finn's soul and judge what it was worth. Finn hoped that he was found worthy; that he could move on from his childhood and his training and be more. "Only good things, I promise." Finn nodded again, not sure what he could say to this man. He should say something though, he was sure of it. 

(Len, who was a Keshian like Captain Iolo Arana, who used to fight in rings for money and joined the Resistance because the First Order was the Empire with a paintjob and his mother had fought against the Empire when she was young, would tell him that he should definitely say something; but Len was the type to laugh when someone embarrassed themselves, and Finn was exceedingly good at that.) 

"She also thought you might be Force sensitive." 

"No, sir." 

Luke Skywalker blinked, and Rey made an inquiring hum, and it was only then that Finn realized everyone was watching his interaction with the famous Jedi. He wondered how he could have missed that, but pushed passed it anyway. Luke Skywalker was waiting for an answer; and he might have been patient, but Finn was not. 

"They test children for Force sensitivity in the Order. They're really in-depth tests - really extensive. They put the kids through anything and everything they can think of." Finn remembered the tests; remembered that more than one had hurt, had left their mark, and he idly reached up to wrap his fingers around his forearm. Poe frowned and Luke Skywalker shifted uncomfortably, but Finn pushed forwards. "Those they found _were_ Force sensitive, they always took away. They never told us what they did with them. I'm still here, though - I'm not Force sensitive." 

Luke Skywalker stared at him for a long time, and even though Finn knew that everyone else was watching him, he kept his eyes on the old Jedi instead; because he felt like this was an important moment, and he didn't want to see the anger in Poe's eyes or the despair in Rey's or the pity in everyone else's. 

"I see," Luke Skywalker finally said. He turned to his meal, then, and after a moment, everyone else went back to what they were doing. 

Finn turned back to his tray, stabbed his fork into his food, and ate. 

~+~ 

Head resting on Finn's chest, Rey slowly fell asleep to Finn's breathing and the snuffling sighs Poe made when he was exhausted; the rise and fall of the former 'trooper's chest like the ocean, BB-8's distant beeping in its charging dock like bells in her tired mind. 

She fell asleep slowly, drifting, and then suddenly all at once; and when she opened her eyes she stood in bare, metallic hallways like Starkiller base except different. It felt cleaner, newer, and instead of the uniformed stomp of marching, there was clattering footfalls, and she looked around until she saw them. 

Children. Children, each holding each other's hand, and one in the front holding the hand of a tall, imposing Stormtrooper with their helmet on and their graze straight forward. Without meaning to, she followed after them. 

Each child was no more than six, small and slightly underfed with wide eyes and hanging-open mouths. Each child was quiet, and obedient, moving when the chain pulled and stopping when the person before them stopped. They came to a hallway of crossroads, and the children she trailed after watched as children older than them walked by, and then children _younger_ than them walked by, before moving forward again. 

The 'trooper leading them stopped in front of a door, then, and it slid open with a _hiss_ , and inside was a medi-droid. The 'trooper tugged the hand of the first child, and they let go and walked into the room, and Rey had half a mind to follow them-- 

\--but she saw something out of the corner of her eye, and she whipped around to see two grown 'troopers dragging a third between them, their helmet off their head and their feet shriek-sliding over the metal floor. Her eyes widened. 

"Finn? Finn! _FINN!_ " 

"Rey!" 

Rey gasped and shot forward, hands reaching forward to slam the person above her down; she straddled them, arm pressed against their throat, and stared down into wide dark eyes. When she recognized Finn, she scrambled back, hitting Poe's chest, and she startled so badly she shook and flung herself out of his grip onto the floor. Her knees hit concrete and she winced but curled into a ball for a moment; hair loose around her face and in her mouth and eyes, and BB-8 beeped, alarmed; its head spinning frantically from where it was stuck in its charging dock. 

"...Rey?" 

"I'm _sorry_ ," she gasped out, pushing her hair back and noting that her hands were shaking. "I'm sorry, I'm so _sorry_ , I didn't mean to--" 

"Rey, love," Poe knelt down beside her, and she turned to stare at him; looking at the bed to see Finn sitting there, watching her, hand rubbing his throat slowly, "it was a nightmare. We all get them. It's okay." 

Her breathing tore through her, and her hands still shook, and for a moment she saw a child Finn in a 'trooper's uniform, eyes dead and blank as he was dragged through hallways by grown adults. But then Finn stood up and walked over to her, and held out his hand, and she gulped in a deep breath and reached up and took it. 

~+~ 

Poe stayed up with Rey after she woke up, violent and shaken; the two of them watching Finn as he slept curled on his side, facing the door, the moon shining off of the metal along his spine like a reminder that he had survived and would always survive. 

He stayed up, half-sitting and half-lying down, Rey's back against his side and her head pillowed under his arm. Lightly, carefully, he ran his fingers through her knotted hair, smoothing it out slowly and frowning a bit at the dead-ends and the frayed, knotty strands. 

"Testor would have a small fit if she ever got hands on your hair," he said softly, and Rey hummed; wide-eyed watching Finn's back as he slept, one hand under her chin and the other reached out to trace the raised-bump burn along his back. The paleness of her skin contrasted so much against the darkness of Finn's, and the moon shone blue on them and made them both look bruised. Poe curved his hand over Rey's head, carding his fingers through her hair, and she sighed. 

"I keep dreaming about Finn as a child, ever since I first saw it," she admitted quietly, and Poe turned his head to show he was listening, even though she couldn't see him. She curled in a bit more, legs tucking against her chest, and he turned onto his side and pressed his chest to her back in alignment. She felt smaller than usual, curved inwards and concaved, and he wrapped an arm around her stomach and pulled her a little closer; pressed his nose to the back of her neck and breathed her in. 

"I keep dreaming about it, seeing him going through those rooms with the medi-droids. Seeing them just... I don't know if it's my imagination or if it's true, but what they do to those kids, Poe - what they did to Finn? It's _horrible_." 

She curled in tighter, her legs trapping his arm, and he shifted until her head was pillowed on his bicep and he could reach out and brush the backs of his fingers against Finn's shoulder. 

"He's out now, Rey," he whispered, and she nodded a little bit, though still felt tense. "Did you dream about it again?" 

"I thought I was," she said, slowly; brokenly, as if unsure how to word herself. She traced the metal spine, and Poe watched and waited. "I was... I was following this line of kids, and we were going to a medical room - but then I saw these grown 'troopers going the opposite direction, and two of them were dragging a third, and the third... the third was _Finn_ , as he is now, Poe, it was _Finn_ and his head was bleeding and he looked horrible. And I have such a bad feeling about all of this." 

Poe pressed a kiss to her hairline and she curved her head downwards to hide her face in her knees, and not for the first time the pilot wished he was able to do more for her. 

~+~ 

Finn woke up quietly, his breathing hard and the spot behind him warm from where Rey had spent the night. 

Rey was gone, she was always gone before him and Poe, but Poe was still sleeping; curved around his pillow, drooling somewhat, hair askew across his forehead. Stubble grew dark and peppered with bits of grey, and Finn sat up and watched him for a moment and tried to calm his racing heart. 

His nightmares had gotten quiet as of late, and he was grateful. Grateful because Rey's nightmares were becoming loud, and Poe's were getting louder, and they needed the comfort of something steady and strong and if Finn could be nothing else, he could be that. 

But he had them, every night; dreamt about Slip's bloody hand across his eyes and Zeroes' dying breath echoing across a battlefield; dreamt about Her standing before him, telling him to stop carrying the weak and to look ever-forward and not behind. Told him to embrace his _Promise_. He dreamt he was back there, back in the white Suit and back in the units, back leading and full of Promise and back in sanitation poking around for creeping, slimy things that lived in waste. 

But sometimes the creeping, slimy things slithered around his legs and dragged him down into the water and the muck, and he drowned because a 'trooper's mask filtered out gas but not poisons and definitely not water, and he woke up with a twitch and hard breathing and a sweaty upper lip. 

Rolling out of bed, he fell to the ground in a plank, adjusted his arms so that one was behind his back and the other was in front of him, spread out his legs to centre his gravity, and started his exercises. 

(Yue, a Sullustan who spoke fairly clear Basic and built fighter engines for a living until she joined the Resistance, told Finn that part of the reason people were so nervous around him was because of the efficiency with which he fought. She told him, during one of the unit's training meetings, that people watched him in the gymnasium as he expertly took down simulation opponent after simulation opponent; told him of the Resistance's running joke that 'troopers were terrible shots and subpar adversaries and that taking down 'trooper squads was as easy as taking down womp rats. 

Told him that if one 'trooper was this efficient, then that meant that they all were, and maybe they weren't so easy to shoot down, after all.) 

He stopped in the middle of a push-up when he heard shuffling on the bed, pushing all the way up to his knees to look over at Poe staring blearily back at him. His hand hung over the side of the bed, and after a moment he wiggled his fingers, and Finn smiled and scooted over to him, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. 

"You make my muscles tired just watching you, you know that, buddy?" And Finn laughed, softly, but real, and he was so glad he could laugh and no one would ask him what was so funny; he was glad he could laugh and not have to explain himself. Happiness in the Order was a job well done and glory in victory and being proud to be a part of something that would bring peace to the galaxy. 

Happiness in this new life, with Poe and Rey and the Resistance, meant feeling heavy and light and never knowing how to explain it but knowing it was _good_. 

"Maybe you should join me sometime, then you wouldn't feel exhausted watching me." 

"I feel like I would die. Like, I would actually drop and expire. No thank you, Finn. I love you, but no thank you." 

Finn grinned again, kissed the back of Poe's hand, and let go again to go back to his exercises; content with Poe sleepily watching him. 

"Okay." 

~+~ 

Rey stood in the middle of the training room, her bo staff in hand and a blindfold over her eyes, and _breathed_. 

There were eight of them, all of various heights and weights and species. Most of them were nervous, but at least two were excited and one was flat-out bored. She huffed a little, adjusted her grip on her staff, and turned marginally to face them. She'd show them _boring_. 

"Begin." 

Rey bolted forward, sweeping the legs out from under the bored person and moving to block an attack from two on her right. She pushed them off, jumping back and kicking one in the chest before landing and quickly bringing her staff up to block again; batons _clacking_ against her staff. Pushing back, she finally had to duck and kick their feet out from under them - twisting around and lifting her hand to freeze the two opponents coming at her from behind, trying to take advantage of her distraction. 

She had to break her concentration, however, to block another attack, stopping when Skywalker called for it. Quickly she removed her blindfold and looked around. 

Two of her opponents, a soldier whose name she didn't know and Jessika Pava, were sitting on the ground, successfully 'taken out' by her staff, which was acting as her 'sabre for the mock battle. Two of Finn's squadron were shaking off the feeling of losing mobility behind her, one girl was rubbing her chest, and the other three were loitering around; all various members of the Resistance, from soldiers to a girl she had seen sitting behind a holo-screen in General Organa's war room. 

"You're getting better, Rey," Skywalker said, giving her his Luke-smile, and she smiled back at him and felt a little warm. He then tilted his head, and she shrank back. "But you seem distracted. Is something wrong?" 

"No - no, master, of course not, I'm--" 

Skywalker held up his hand, turned to look at those who had volunteered to help Rey with her training, and they all left without another word; Jess waving and one of Finn's people grinning at her easily. Once they were alone, Rey sighed and dropped into a sitting position on the ground; Skywalker walked over to her and sat down across from her, hands folded over his lap. 

"What is it?" 

"I had a dream last night. It was just a silly nightmare, but it's been bothering me." 

"Sometimes nightmares are telling. What did you dream?" 

"I dreamt of those Stormtrooper children, like I did the first time I had a vision, but I saw Finn. But this time... this time Finn wasn't with the children. He was an adult, and he was in the uniform, being dragged through the hallway by two other 'troopers, and he looked hurt." Rey paused, biting her lip, before shaking her head roughly; the three knots she had tied her hair in tugging at her scalp at the harsh motion. "But I'm probably just worried - he's going on that mission and I'm probably scared. It's _stupid_ , I know it is--" 

"Rey." Skywalker reached out and took hold of her hands in his flesh one, looking at her seriously. "Did this feel like a dream?" 

"... No." 

"Then pay attention if you receive any more of them. Please - it might be important." 

Rey nodded, staring at him, and then breathed in deeply and sat up a bit. Skywalker looked back at her, searching her face for something, before sitting back and pressing his hands to his knees. 

"I think we're due for a bit of meditation." 

"...alright." 

~+~ 

"Your girl kicked my ass, and I'm okay with it." 

Poe blinked, looking over to see Jess making her way over to him as he did some maintenance on the _Black One_ \- a datapad telling him the final scores on the recruits' last flight simulation blinking on the seat of the cockpit. She leaned against the side of the fighter, flicking back her hair and smiling easily up at him. 

"Met Rey, have you?" 

"She's good people. A little bit terrifying, but you've always liked somewhat terrifying women. I mean, look at your idol." 

"The General is a kind and gracious lady." 

"The General was perfectly capable of kicking your ass in her heyday, and we all know it. She would have kicked it, and then shot it, and then possibly strangled it. With _chains_." She paused for a moment, and then snorted. "Who am I kidding, she _still would_. And you'd be perfectly happy about it, too." 

Poe sighed a little, smiling and closing the panel he had been working at; looking down at Jess with raised eyebrows. Jess stared up at him, brows raised in return, and waited for him to say something. 

"I thought we all agreed never to bring up my crush on the General for all of our sakes." 

"I'm just saying. Rey reminds me of her in the fact that she could destroy me with a look and I'd be seriously okay with it." She paused, pursed her lips, and then smiled a bit. "I _did_ get to meet Luke Skywalker, though. Like, for real. Not just really briefly and making a horrible mess of a first impression. Thankfully, I don't think he remembered me." 

"Or he was being kind, and pretending he didn't remember you." 

"...that is far more likely, yes." 

Sliding down the ladder, Poe stepped back and looked down at BB-8 as it rolled over to him and looked up at him with its lens, _whiirwhoowhoop_ ing. He wrinkled his nose but nodded, patting its head and looking over at Jess. 

"I gotta eat, so says the boss. I'm meeting Finn - you want to come with and actually meet him?" 

"Are you saying I'm going to meet the wonderful, brave, beautiful Finn, saviour of Poe Dameron?" Jess pressed a hand to her chest, grinning. "Be still, my heart, I might swoon." 

"Should I inform your lady love that you're going to swoon into my man's arms, or...?" 

"Please don't, she'll come investigate and then _devour him_." 

Poe laughed, shaking his head and making his way out of the hangar, BB-8 leading and Jess beside him. He felt lighter, even though he was worried about Rey and he was worried about Finn; worried about his desert girl's nightmares and about his 'trooper's reaction to going back anywhere near First Order life. Worried that this war would take one of them or both of them or even him, leaving them behind and alone. It was easy to get crushed by worry, and he had to remind himself to laugh and enjoy what time he _had_ , so it felt good to talk like this with Jess. To just be a pilot in love and being teased about it with no malice. It was nice. 

"That would be _terrible_. I'll just have to make sure you don't swoon." 

"No promises, Dameron! I've been waiting to meet this guy properly for _weeks_!" 

~+~ 

Jarvik was a nautolan, coloured blues and browns with a streak of green, and he didn't want to say why he had joined the Resistance. 

Finn was fine with that, because he knew everyone had their own reasons for joining, and it was their business if they wanted to share it or not. Finn wasn't the type of person to push; wasn't the type to demand information if he didn't need it and it wasn't important to the mission at hand. He remembered Her demanding to know what he was doing and why he always helped Slip and what he thought he was trying to prove as he shoved Her into a trash compactor. There was no privacy, no agency in the First Order. Only obedience. Only subservience. 

Finn jumped at the hand clapping him on the shoulder and out of his morose thoughts, and he looked over to see Poe grinning down at him. The pilot pressed a kiss to his temple and sat next to him without further ado, while a woman sat across from them, looking at him and grinning brightly. 

"Finn, this is Jessika Pava, also known as Testor. Because she likes to test my patience." 

"You're _hilarious_ , Commander," Jessika Pava drawled, before holding her hand out to Finn. He blinked, smiling a little and taking her hand, squeezing it. "Hi, I've heard only good things about you, I'm starting to believe you're a paragon of saintliness." 

Finn snorted, shooting a look to Poe; Poe stared back at him unabashedly and grinned. 

"I'm anything but that, Jessika," Finn said finally, looking back at her. "But I've heard good things about you, too. I'm glad to finally meet you." 

"Right back at'cha, hotshot. Settling into the base alright, I hope?" 

"Best as I can." Jess tilted her head, narrowing her eyes a bit and chewing her upper lip thoughtfully. 

"Anyone giving you a hard time?" 

Finn paused, biting the inside of his cheek and glancing over to see Poe watching him carefully, waiting for his answer. He then smiled again, disarming and honest, and shrugged. 

"No more than usual, really. Mostly people are curious. It's not the worst thing in the world." 

(Niels, who hailed from Coruscant, had once commented to Finn that he hadn't been sure if he believed he'd been a 'trooper before joining the Resistance, because he was so open with his emotions and he smiled so brightly and he was so damned _friendly_ ; that it was hard to believe someone so human and nice could come from something so horrific. And it made Finn wonder how everyone saw the 'troopers, because he knew them to be cold as a unified front, but to also be the type to pull quiet pranks on one another. The type to help each other when it came to inspections, and the type to bond with each other because they were the only family they had. 

He wondered if he could make anyone else think that maybe, just _maybe_ , more could and would defect; and he wondered if the Resistance would be willing to help them like they had helped him. 

~+~ 

Rey rushed to the tarmac as soon as she was done her morning rituals, sliding easily through the crowds in the hallways and bolting through the hectic hangar to get outside. The sun was bright out, the sky a clear blue-green, and she stared at it for a moment, breathless, before looking around for Poe and Finn. 

Poe was talking with his captains beside the _Black One_ , flight helmet under his arm and orange G-suit zipped all the way up to his throat. She had always thought that the Rebels and the Resistance where brave (and foolish) to wear such bright, neon colours for flying. Thought that the Empire and the First Order probably had it right when it came to more neutral colours. 

But the glaring orange and the dusty white meant that she could always find Poe in a crowd, so she couldn't really hate the suit too much. 

Gaze drifting away from the ace pilot for a moment, Rey looked around until she spotted Finn with his unit, recognizable in the leather jacket with the red stripe down the spine. Poe had been the one to suggest it, when she had finished sewing the jacket back together stitch-by-stitch and noticed that it still looked burnt and horrible. He had said that the stripe would match the red already on the jacket, and it would make it 'have character', so she had requisitioned some fabric and sewn it on, fixing the liner and making the jacket whole again. 

Poe had praised her skill with a needle, and Finn had thanked her so sincerely for fixing it, that she felt something warm and bubbly settle in her stomach every time she saw the jacket - completely unlike the feeling to the silver parallel running down Finn's spine. 

Finn looked up at that moment, as if sensing her, and she mourned again that he was not sensitive in the Force as she was; his face broke out in his sun-shining grin, and he lifted a hand in a wave. Rey grinned back, half-running over to him, and wrapped her arms around his neck when he scooped her up and spun her. 

"Rey!" 

"Finn! Put me down!" He did so, gently, hands on her waist and eyes bright. She reached up and traced just under one of his eyes, replacing her vision of dead eyes with these ones, before leaning up and pressing a light kiss to his lips. He blinked and jerked back a little, but Rey only grinned. 

"I think that's the first time you've actually kissed me." 

"It's long overdue then, and I'm sorry." He shook his head and squeezed her waist, and the moment was broken when Poe appeared beside them and wrapped his arms around both their shoulders. 

"Come to see us of, Rey?" 

Rey nodded, her heart sinking a little as she remembered why she had come rushing to the tarmac in the first place. Poe leaned down and kissed her cheek sweetly, and she closed her eyes and sighed as he pulled away. 

"We'll be back before you know it." 

"I'm just not used to being the one left behind anymore." 

"It's hard," Finn said, and Poe pulled him a little closer, nose resting against his temple. Finn leaned into him, but kept looking at Rey. "It's hard, but you'll be okay. And we'll be back. I promise, Rey, we'll come back for you." 

She swallowed and nodded, allowing herself to be pulled into both of their arms; Finn's mouth pressed to her forehead and Poe bowed down to seemingly encircle her. 

"I know - you always have." 

~+~ 

"This is Black Leader, time for a headcount." 

"Blue Three, reporting," Jess said, her voice tinny and bright on the headset. 

"Blue One," Snap said a moment later, and Poe shuddered a little at the menacing bloops of Mister Bones in the background. Nein Nunb called out his call sign in his slithering tongue a moment later, sounding vaguely amused by the battle droid's threats. 

The rest of Blue Squadron, along with those of Red Squadron, called out their call signs as they went through pre-flight checks; Poe listening to them with one ear and listening to BB-8 rattle off the status of the fighter with the other. 

"Dagger Leader, reporting." 

"Stiletto Leader, reporting." 

"Your squadrons all clear?" 

"Yes, Black Leader!" 

"Alright - Home Base, this is Black Leader - all starfighter units are ready for take-off on your word." 

"Black Leader, this is Home Base," General Leia spoke over the intercomm, and Poe straightened in his seat - the other pilots no doubt doing the same. "You have permission for take-off. May the Force be with you." 

"Ma'am!" 

~+~ 

Hana and T'keigh, a twi'lek and a nautolan respectively, were romantically together and joined the Resistance because the First Order frightened them and they wanted to live in a galaxy finally at peace. 

Finn liked these two best, but they also worried him the most - because if one of them ever died, the other one would be broken in some way, and Finn had no idea how to fix that. Had no idea if it was even his place to try and fix something like that, when he wasn't sure if he'd even be able to fix himself if he lost Rey or Poe. 

He scrubbed a hand over his eyes and hair, shook his head, and looked around to see his unit all watching him expectantly. He smiled a little and moved through them, heading towards the pilot's seat and leaning over his shoulder. 

"Time for take-off?" 

"We're taking off with Stiletto Squadron - they're heading for the same star system as we are." Finn nodded, biting the inside of his cheek so that no one knew how nervous he was. "Approximate T.O.A. will be at 0700 local time." 

"Alright," Finn nodded again, stepping away and turning to his unit. They continued to watch him, waiting. 

It made him think back to Slip and Nines and Zeroes, how they always waited for his word before doing anything. How Nines always stood to his right, a slight, strong presence that made him believe his orders were right; how Zeroes always had twitching hands, determined to get out into the simulation and take down as many enemies as he could. How Slip was always curved inwards and a little bit nervous, dazed even behind the blank mask of a 'trooper, unprepared as always and ready to fail. 

"What's the word, Cap?" Blackjack finally asked, and Finn shook his head and pushed the memories away. He couldn't think of them; couldn't think of the 'troopers as people, not when he was about to help kill so many. 

"We'll be arriving at the first base in two hours' time - Blackjack, Len and Niels will be going ahead of us, taking down any patrols around the area. Hana, Yue, and Pansy will be with me." 

"What about Jarvik, Eloise, and T'keigh?" Pansy asked, crossing her arms stiffly over her chest. She was nervous, Finn could tell; but they had gone through battle plans and simulations as soon as they were formed, and they were as ready as they were going to be. Simulated situations were only going to get them so far. He hoped they were all ready. He hoped he was. 

"They'll be keeping guard of the entrances to the base - Blackjack, Len and Niels will be keeping their own patrol to make sure they didn't miss anyone the first time. Are our orders clear?" 

"Yes, Cap!" 

"Then sit down, I think we're about to take-off and we don't need anyone hurting themselves by falling down." 

Everyone laughed, even though the joke wasn't particularly funny, and sat down in the seats that lined the walls. Finn sat closest to the pilot's seat, breathing deeply and closing his eyes; the others checking their blasters, the explosives, and their communications as the engines fired up and their ship started moving forward. 

He took a moment to near-pray fervently that everything would work out, and then his heart dislodged from his throat and settled into his stomach as their craft suddenly lifted, and they were exiting the atmosphere and shooting into hyperspace. 

Finn desperately hoped this worked better than his last official mission. 

~+~ 

Rey was meditating after lunch, her breathing deep and calm, Skywalker's presence a warm comfort at her side-- 

\--and then she was in those same cold hallways, children following after 'troopers in a line, but instead of following the little ones she went after the two 'troopers dragging the third, heart in her throat and panic climbing. 

She skidded around a corner and came to a halt when she saw them drop the third 'trooper - and it _was_ Finn, it was, he looked exactly as she had last seen him - into an empty room, before taking guard positions on either side of the door; hands on their blasters and gazes blank and inhuman. 

She crept slowly to the door, but neither guard seemed to notice her, and so she stepped inside - and stopped dead, eyes wide. 

Poe sat across from the door, hidden in a corner, dressed in an unfamiliar flight suit and looking worse for wear. She watched as Finn pulled himself to his hands and knees and crawled over to Poe, who opened his eyes blearily and jerked forward when he realized who was there. 

"Finn - what--?" 

"Sorry, Poe," Finn said coarsely, and he slumped against Poe's chest when the pilot opened his arms, curving against him and closing his eyes again. He looked exhausted, and beaten, and she was _sure_ his side was bleeding; red staining the bright white of the 'trooper suit. "Guess breaking you out a second time was harder than I thought it'd be." 

" _Finn_ \--" 

"The plan's gonna fail," Finn said, voice a whisper; Rey stepped forward, but they didn't notice her, and she realized that this was the _future_ , this wasn't the past at all, and it made something hard tighten around her heart. "They're not gonna be able to get close to the Academy - and Kylo Ren's here, he's gonna know who are real 'troopers and who are fakes, he's gonna slaughter _everyone_ \--" 

Poe's arms tightened around Finn, and Finn made a sound but didn't move. They fell silent after a moment, Finn's breathing shallow and Poe's gaze staring straight through Rey, making her feel more alone than she had ever been. 

"Finn--" 

"I'm sorry, Poe," Finn murmured weakly, sighing a little, and the panic that had been building in Rey grew three times. "I'm _sorry_..." 

"Finn...?" Poe looked down at Finn, and Rey covered her mouth with her hands as the pilot shook the ex-'trooper, his gaze growing frantic, a scream building in her throat. "Finn? _FINN!_ " 

"REY!" 

Rey forced her eyes open with a gasp, staring into the too-wide eyes of Skywalker, but he was more Luke than Jedi at the moment, and his hands gripped her shoulders as he stared at her in open worry. 

"Rey, what happened? What did you see?" 

But Rey shook her head and fell forwards, burying her face into his chest as she sobbed. Skywalker-Luke froze for a moment before wrapping his arms around her, rocking her slowly and shushing comfort into her hair. 

~+~ 

"Black Leader, this is Stiletto Leader - we're breaking from formation now." 

"Copy, Kun - keep safe." 

"Roger!" 

Poe watched from the corner of his eyes as Stiletto Squadron and the transport carrying Finn and his team broke off, moving into hyperspace and leaving them behind for the moment. After a few minutes silence, Iolo spoke up. 

"This is Dagger Leader, we're breaking off." 

"Copy - may the Force be with you, Arana." 

"Copy!" 

He watched Dagger Squadron leave, then, before he turned his attention to the planet they were coming up to. The 'comm crackled, and Poe hummed to show he was listening. 

"Will this be like shooting womp rats, Commander?" Jess asked, and he could feel the smile on her lips as she started a controlled dive down towards the planet's atmosphere. Poe flicked a few switches and pressed a button, a screen at the bottom of his dash showing the coordinates for the base, and Poe grinned. 

"'Course, Testor - let's take down some First Order bastards! Red Squadron, Blue Squadron, follow me!" 

"Copy!" 

"We're with you, Dameron!" 

~+~ 

Their transport landed, quietly, and after a few last minute checks Finn waved out Blackjack, Len and Niels. They moved with an efficiency Finn couldn't help but be a little proud of, and after a few minutes, with the distant sounds of blaster fire and animals, Finn led the rest of the unit forward and towards the base. 

They came across Len kicking a blaster away from the still fingers of a 'trooper, but didn't stop to pay any attention to him, moving passed him; pausing for a moment to let the scouts go ahead and check for more patrols. It took them ten, fifteen, twenty minutes to move, and if T'keigh huffed a little impatiently, Finn just chalked that up to a personality quirk. 

When they finally got there, one 'trooper was standing at the doors with their blaster hanging loose at their side and their gaze fixed forward; ill-fitting armor sitting on them like overlarge sacks. 

Finn held up a hand to stop the unit, shook his head when the scouts make move ahead, and slowly stepped out of cover. Hana hissed at him in twi'leki, but he ignored her; he knew that stance, that armor, that slight, near-delicate frame. 

"Nines." 

The 'trooper barely flinched, reaching up and pulling off their helmet without further ado, and the dark, sharp eyes and small, soft mouth of Nines stared back at him. Len made a noise of confusion behind him, but he ignored him, just for a moment; knowing that Nines was going to say something. 

"They demoted me, after you defected," Nines said, their voice soft, almost like a hiss. They had always spoken like that, always softly and snake-like. It reminded Finn of one of the pilots that flew with Poe all the time, the war hero Nien Nunb. Reminded him of Yue's accent. "They should have decommissioned me, but I think they didn't want to lose any more soldiers with potential. With Promise." 

"Why'd they demote you?" 

"Because I was _your_ second, wasn't I? They worried that somehow, our entire unit was corrupt. It was why they sent Zeroes to Takodana, knowing he'd probably see you and go into a rage. Knew that he'd be killed in the fighting. They've been keeping an eye on me."

"And have you been corrupted?" 

Nines frowned, looking away, before looking back at Finn. 

"They tell me you have a name, now - that you aren't FN-2187 anymore. They say it like it's a bad thing, like it's a curse. Like you've gone ahead of your station. Only captains get names, -2187. Not foot soldiers. Not sanitation." 

"I'm called Finn, now - they call me _Finn_ , because everyone deserves a name and not a designation, because we're all _people_ and not just tools. Not just cogs to be taken out when they start malfunctioning." 

Nines stared at him again, their mouth pressed into a thin line. Finn stepped forward, a little closer. 

"You could be a person, too, Nines." 

Nines held up their blaster, and every single person in Finn's unit lifted their in response. Finn kept his lowered, watching them with careful eyes as they stared at him blankly. They then sighed, shaking their head and dropping their blaster with a weak jerk of their arm. 

"You take me out of here, and I'll help you do whatever it is you want to do." 

"Where are the other 'troopers?" 

"Holed up inside. I caused a distraction on the other side of the base - a small fire, nothing more. There aren't a lot of us stationed here, and I saw your craft land here about thirty minutes ago. I wanted the chance to see if it really would be you." 

"We're blowing this place to the sky." 

Nines nodded, and then they smiled; their teeth sharp and vicious, and exactly the Nines that Finn remembered. 

"I know the best places for explosives." 

~+~ 

Rey stood out on the tarmac, arms wrapped tightly around herself, and watched the skies at around the time the fighters were supposed to be returning. 

It had been three weeks - three weeks of no communication from any of them, because it was a risk; three weeks of silence and nightmares and night-walking, sitting with Skywalker-Luke and talking with General Organa and fixing up the _Falcon_ with Chewie, because sitting still and meditating and seeing Finn die over and over and _over_ was going to make Rey have a meltdown, and she couldn't afford one. 

She had to be strong, she had to be put together; she was the first Jedi to appear since the second slaughter of them so many years ago, and people were counting on her. They forgot she was just a desert scavenger who had fought for rations and half portions and _water_ , and all they saw was their saviour and their future. 

She wondered how Skywalker-Luke handled it. How he could _stand_ that kind of pressure. And then she remembered that she found him, isolated on Ahch-To, in the remains of a Temple with blood-soaked grass, and thought that perhaps he really couldn't stand it at all. 

A soft _boopbeepblip_ interrupted her thoughts, and she looked over to see R2-D2 rolling over to her, dinged up and scuffed up and old, but still lively despite it all. Skywalker-Luke was behind her, General Organa beside him, and the three of them stood next to her and turned their faces to the sky and waited. 

It was only because she was so used to waiting that she didn't worry as the sun started to set; only because General Organa wrapped worn fingers around her wrist and Skywalker-Luke pressed metal fingers to her shoulder that she didn't worry when the moon started to rise. 

Yet she only breathed when she saw people rush out to the tarmac to guide the approaching fighters into landing and watched as the familiar black X-wing led the descent into landing. 

~+~ 

"Poe!" 

Poe turned around, pulling off his helmet and tossing it to the attendant with a quick 'sorry!' before rushing over to Rey, scooping her up and hugging her tightly. She clung onto him, face buried against his neck, and he felt tears on his skin and worried. 

Neither of them got to say anything, though, before Finn was there and wrapping them both up in his arms, squeezing them tightly, and Rey clung onto Finn even tighter than she held onto Poe. The three fell to their knees in a pile, BB-8 spinning around them and beeping worriedly. Someone cleared their throat, and Poe looked up to see General Leia staring down at them with a flat mouth and soft eyes. 

"Commander," she said, then, and Poe carefully extricated himself, standing to attention and giving her a salute. She nodded, and he relaxed; pulling Finn and Rey up to their feet without breaking eye-contact. "I wasn't aware we would be bringing any prisoners with us." 

"That was a decision of Finn's, General," Poe said, looking over to Finn to see him straightening slowly. "Captain Kun told us about the addition only after the mission was complete and Stiletto Squadron joined back up with us on the flight back to Home Base." 

General Leia turned to Finn, then, and Poe watched as Finn breathed in deeply and rolled his shoulders back; a soldier who did not regret his decisions, but wanted to make sure they were okay, anyway. 

"Their designation was FN-2199, but we called them Nines. They were my second in my squadron. And they got you a whole lot more than just a peek, General." 

~+~ 

Nines was led away from the tarmac with manacles around their wrist, stripped out of their white plastoid armor and left in their under armor black. They walked in cadence with Yue and Niels, their head held high, and their dark eyes taking in everything around them. 

They had been blindfolded for the flight back to the system, and Finn could understand the precautions, but it still made him wonder if they would have treated him the same way had he not come when their base was about to be blown like the Hosnian system had been. 

Finn could tell something was wrong, though, even as he looked away from Nines and turned to see Rey talking quietly to Poe. Poe had already given his debrief to General Leia Organa, and now she was waiting for him, and so he turned away from his two people and walked into the war room. 

She stood in front of a holo, a datapad in her hand giving her the debrief from the other captains. C-3P0, a protocol droid that had seen more action than most of his kind, stood slightly behind her, red arm stark against the shining gold of his plating. 

Finn turned away from the droid and instead to the General as she looked over at him, smiling tiredly. 

"Tell me about Nines." 

So Finn did. 

He told her about how Nines had plugged in their hacking code, confusing any 'trooper that would be returning to their stations after dealing with the fire with more nonsense. It uploaded a few important, encrypted files, and General Organa stated that those were still important - but it was the data disc that Nines ejected from the computer, holding it out to him and telling him it held more information than the Resistance could dream of getting with their little hacking codes, that had gotten her attention. 

He told her about how Nines had shown them the weak points of the structure; how they had planted the explosives, and left the grounds quickly. How the base had shattered into rubble and pieces and bodies and Nines never looked back. 

He did not tell her about finding the 'trooper scout out in the woods, still breathing but shallowly, weakly grasping the grass and breathing bloody her last breaths. 

Finn did not tell her about kneeling next to the 'trooper, taking off her helmet, and seeing the face of a girl he had grown up with; did not tell her that Hana had knelt beside him, held her hand, and named her _Fiona_ , because she had deserved a name even as she died. 

Finn did not tell her about how Fiona had whispered _thank you_ before she had died, and Finn had closed her eyes, and Nines had told him that his soft heart was, perhaps, good for something after all. 

He did, however, tell her that Nines had more to tell them, and General Leia Organa looked at him as though she knew he wasn't telling her everything before she nodded and dismissed him. 

Finn left, and wondered why he did not feel more guilty about keeping things to himself. 

~+~ 

Rey found Finn sitting on the roof of the base, sitting next to him and wrapping her arms around his near-possessively. 

Finn only leaned against her, still looking up at the sky as if it could tell him answers to the million questions she could see on his face. 

"I get the feeling that something big is going to happen," he said, and Rey said nothing but rested her cheek against his shoulder, eyes closed and breathing in the familiar scent of blaster discharge, soap, and the leather jacket that was slowly losing the scent of Poe's aftershave. 

Poe joined them after a few more minutes of silence, sitting on Finn's other side and leaning against the 'trooper carefully. 

"The General just finished talking with your 'trooper friend, buddy," Poe said, and Finn and Rey looked over at him; Rey sitting up and feeling something like dread coil in her sternum. "She--" 

"They. Nines always preferred they." 

Poe blinked, but nodded and continued. "They, then. They were telling the General about something called Academies." 

Rey's heart lurched, and Finn nodded, as if expecting that. She turned to him, eyes wide. 

"What's an Academy?" 

"It's a station - where 'troopers are raised," Finn said, looking back up at the sky. "There are a few different ones, raising kids from as young as four to as old as eighteen. We're assigned at eighteen and sent to different destroyers and stations and bases after that." 

The feeling like dread continued to tighten around Rey's heart, and she squeezed Finn's arm, but he didn't seem to notice. Poe was looking at his hands, a frown on his face. 

"Nines was telling the General that there was an Academy they thought she'd be interested in." Finn nodded again, and Poe leaned a little heavier on Finn, and Rey held her breath. "They said it was found in the ruins of the Alderaan system." 

"It was supposed to be symbolic," Finn said, and Poe shook his head. "I was raised in that one." 

Rey swallowed, then, looking at Poe, knowing she wasn't going to like the answer. 

"What are we going to do?" 

"...What do you think, Rey?" Poe asked, smiling tightly. "We're gonna be big damn heroes, save the kids, and take out the Academy. It'll be a hit to the Order like nothing else has been; it'll let them know that we know about the Academies. That their recruiting isn't safe anymore. It'll put them on edge." 

He paused, and Finn continued to look at the stars. 

"She wants you part of the team getting the kids out, Finn," Poe finally said. "You know how to act in an Academy, and you'll be able to convince them to leave, since they'll recognize you as a 'trooper." 

Finn nodded, and Rey squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her head against Finn's shoulder. 

"I'll do what I can for the Resistance." 

"We know, buddy," Poe said, and he wrapped his arm around Finn and pressed his hand to Rey's shoulder, and she breathed in deeply and stared up at the stars. 

"We know." 

**Author's Note:**

> Poe Dameron is a demisexual biromantic.  
> Rey is a greysexual panromantic.  
> Finn is an asexual panromantic.  
> Luke Skywalker is a bisexual aromantic. 
> 
> And this thing developed a small plot, really how dare it.


End file.
